Tuesday, November 1, 2011

An ordinary dilemma

I am really disappointed from myself, I know that I love punishing myself and putting high standards to be met .
Recently I am feeling weird with the drastic change of style after removing the veil. I am trying to drew my lines what is appropriate, what is not , what is pretty, and what is not .
One of the most difficult issue,  how to deal with my hair which is all over the place and with huge volume . I thought that I have been always admiring the African braids , especially the corn rose. However I am hesitant to do that for two bad reasons, firstly : I do not want the people in the streets to think that I am not Egyptian, although they already think I am African American or Sudanese…etc. and the second reason that my lovely BF thinks that it will not be nice with me. Although I think I will be pretty with it, but I am clueless what to do …… sigh
So I am a bad girl controlled by the fear of being victim to the xenophobes  and racists in the Egyptians streets and also afraid from not being beautiful in my man's eyes .
I know that I did not stand up for myself or what I believe….. I am just sharing, I hope you will not judge me
This post is inspired by a warm talk with my friend Y.