Women, Sexuality and name calling.

I have always being questioning why the people obsessed with sexuality; I know that is a very vital part of our human nature. Why all the degrading swears are related to the sexually oppressed persons, whether it is a female in heterosexual relation or gays in homosexual relation (this is the mainstream patriarchal vision of roles in sexual relation). Why is important to act sexually in a socially approved manner, although sexuality is so private and it is confined in the private sphere and why gender roles in sexual relations are prescribed by the society and it is very challenging to resist this pre-made roles or figures.

A recent accident influenced my thought. I was going to the office early in the morning in a rush hour of crowded Cairo. I was crossing the road slowly in a green light; a man in fancy car was horning to me to cross faster to let him pass although his light was red. I just thought that he is violating my right so I walked slowly on purpose. He called me "Labwa" the lioness. I was angry and almost said a nasty word. But the policeman intervened and told him it is her right to walk in the green light, and watch your mouth. I looked to the man in a very rough way and left peacefully physically, and emotionally hurt, for committing no guilt. I just claimed my right n the street.

"Labwa" is a nasty word, because it means that a woman is sexually very active and if one partner is not fulfilling for her, so she might engage polygamous relation, she is breadwinner, she hunts the animals, while the lazy male lion is enjoying sun and flexing his muscles. And she is the main care giver; she is taking care of the babies. So the moral of the story in a nutshell is do not be economically independent, do not be sexually proactive and do not express your desires to your partner and do not search for satisfaction if your partner is not fulfilling you (I do not believe in open inclusive relationships and I believe in monogamous relationships, however I see people still have the right to adopt the kind of relation which suits them).
So although the man told me "Labwa" to insult me, however I was quite proud to called "Labwa" because it denotes that I am an independent women, I do not gain my legitimacy and agency from being attached to a certain man and I am the one to judge how much I am satisfied or not in my relation and I have the right to exist from and relation and seek satisfaction with another partner, if not fulfilled.

This is a humble attempt to deconstruct the name calling, social stigma and its relation with women and sexuality. I am sure that there is literature on this topic; however I think we need to highlight such questions and create new answer sensitive to our current lived reality, to add our own contribution to the feminist thought. We need to construct feminist epistemology to confront with the mainstream common patriarchal cultural norms on sexuality and its accepted or rejected gender roles and figures I think we need to rethink the rationale of name calling and why do we attach social stigma to the oppressed: sexually, economically and ethnically.

To be followed with other posts, about the change of accepting homosexual relations and sex workers. And body issues and politics of veiling and revealing in the contemporary Egyptian society.

Personal note: I am astonished that I am discussing this in public. I am adopting a new strategy to get the private public. Bare in mind that comments are monitored on this blog. Offensive unconstructive comments are not welcomed. So save my time and yours.

I dedicate this post to two of my dearest friends Maria, who suffered once from my obsession by, swears and Mozn for bearing me as a very disturbed and nagging friend for more than 7 years. Thanks ladies!!!

Stay tuned!!

Fatma

Green versus Black

Iran is passing through a very critical moment of its history, the credibility of the so called Islamic republic is questioned. Despotism, sexism and tyranny are no more accepted or tolerated. The green movement and presidential elections aftermaths revealed the ugly face of the Black Islam adopted by the black turbaned Ayotallah.

In a very informative and impressing talk, Prof. Ziba Mir Hosseini, a distinguished Iranian Anthropologist and one of my great mentors, elaborated on her paper "Broken Taboos in Post-Election Iran"

In a talk hosted by the distinguished Egyptian feminist think tank Women and Memory Forum www.wmf.org.eg , Ziba shared with us her analysis on the Green movement and the change happening currently in the Iran. She started with a very catchy idea, the Green versus the Black. by Green she meant the reformist, democratic, inclusive and feminist voices of the Iranian opposition versus the Black rigid, dogmatic and sexist voices of the official so called Islamic regime. The Green movement made remarkable changes, the first is the unification of the feminist movement under one platform, fighting for women rights. the sharp polarization between the faith based feminists and secular feminists which was a persistent feature of the Iranian feminist movement since 1979 ended under the severe misogynist attacks of the Iranian regime. Ziba said: " in April 2009, 42 women’s groups and 700 individuals, including both secular feminists and religious women from the reformist parties, came together to form a coalition called the Women’s Convergence. Without supporting any individual candidate, the coalition posed pointed questions to the field". the convergence demanded the ratification of the international women rights bill Convention of Elimination of All forms of Discrimination Against Women CEDAW and revision of discriminatory articles 19, 20, 21 and 115 of the constitution.

The second landmark was infringing the concept of the so called Islamic republic which protect the honor of its citizens. The black atrocity of the protester Taraneh Mousavi, who was detained, reportedly raped and murdered in prison, and her body burned and discarded, discarded the credibility of the regime, who have been forcing rigid sexual and moral code of conduct on its citizens. The obligatory Hijab was taken off to intimidate the Green protesters. Taraneh was an alarm and example to the destiny of any outspoken women who dare to challenge the regime. The sexual assaults was not directed to women, men were victims as well " One of Karroubi’s witnesses, a male rape victim, refers to his decision to disclose what happened to him as “committing social suicide,” which speaks to the power of the taboo -- but then, once a taboo is broken, it loses its power". In addition to that the media apparatus of the regime spread a photo of the student leader Majid Tavakoli wearing traditional Hijab chador, to humiliate him, however a campaign was launched on the social network Facebook, calling men to post their photos wearing Hijab in solidarity with Majid. These incidents reminded me with the usage of sexual assaults as a tool against dissidents, it was used in Egypt in the referendum day in May 2005.

The third novelty was the role of women in the Green movement. It started with the appearance of Zahra Rahnavard at the side of -- and even holding hands with -- her husband, the candidate Mir Hossein Mousavi and the other Iranian women, that the analysts said that the Green movement is feminine, it is based on the ethics of care offered by women. It is note worthy to say that women have been in the public sphere, however they were always subordinate or second level officials entrenching the regime discourse.

Finally, the passion and love were released and taken publicly, different wives on political prisoners wrote love letters to their husbands expressing their pain and loss. Women sexuality and passion were finally acceptable and not stigmatized. And this is a huge change in a Middle Eastern Muslim society, where love is confined in bedrooms.

Women are showing that they are capable of bearing the pain and giving birth to beauty and justice. The struggle of Iranian women is, was and will shape the history of women endeavor in the Middle East. They are breaking taboos, confronting with fundamentalism and seeking equality.

In solidarity

Fatma

Expiring date

I had a long weekend this week, 3 days yeeeeey.

So I tried to finish some of my pending tasks especially in the housework. I decided to rearrange my closet, to see what I already have and what I need. This task revealed two things broke my heart .

That almost half of my skin care and hair care things( creams, scrubs ….) are expired and that I gained huge amount of flesh.
I am a skin care maniac, I have always cared for keep my skin scented and soft, I know that I have only one body and I want celebrate this blessing. I treasured my birthdays gifts: perfumes, masks and creams. I have being using them since I was 14years old or even younger, however I preferred to keep the some of them to utilize them when I have a stable relationship. I have this fantasy that I want to enjoy my beauty with my lover. Keeping them untouched made them expire.
These products did not have my patience. They did not wait for too long as I waited for Mr. Right. And he did not come yet. that does not mean that I was not in relations or that I did not fall in love, but the perfect match is still not there yet.
The expiring date reminded me that my clock is ticking and I am almost thirty years old, thanks to God I achieved nice things in my academic life and my career, however I am always whining because of lack of luck with men. I do not feel that my life is incomplete, I feel that I need a partner to share the memories with me, to be there when I am in pain or joy, he missed the graduation of BA and MA, he missed my first flight abroad and he missed thousands and thousands of events. when he will show up to see what I am doing and enjoy it with me.

Closet rearrangement also made me notice that I gained huge amount of weight, I am wearing 3 extra sizes than what I used to wear in 2007, my best shape ever after coming back to Egypt from Belgium. I always had this body image thing, how fat I am, how is my figure, Am I proportioned or not? I have been athletic when I was a teenager, and I stopped playing sports because High school diploma fever.
Stooping sports pressured me to watch my diet and to take care of how much fats I put to my hips through my lips. Currently I am trying to reduce my weight through a nice diet, not very harsh one to avoid depression and hair fall. And definitely I will NEVER visit a nutrition doctor, they made me feel horrible.
I am sad, I hate being in denial, I cherish my femininity , although I have issues with expressing in public. I am aware that I am getting old and I am accumulating wisdom, experience and knowledge however, I am waiting for time to put his fingerprints on me, like wrinkles for example. I will still wait for my perfect match, I will not trade my principles or lower my standards for anyone or any reason.

Note: I was hesitant to write about this in these sad days in Egypt, but I felt that I can share my feelings with you and that is not consider disrespect the grief of Nag' Hamdi clashes, people born and die and life continues .

Following an enemy

I am always questioning the motives forcing- I hope force is the adequate verb- Muslim women to join radical Islamist movements.
why would women engage a movement that sees them as sexual object needs to be tamed and covered. why do women agree to be identified as traps of the devil. Why do women accept to be called adulterer, if she wears perfume. why she trades her personal well for the obedience of the leader and the group, not only Allah. Why women march in masses supporting Umma (the nation) calls, but they never march for their own demands. Why do women constitute the wide base of support to the Islamist movement, but they are never allowed to join the elite of the movement as a person, only as a wife of X or a daughter of Y.
There are many arguments explaining the reason behind women's participation in Islamists movement. I reject the argument of false conciseness, which says that those women were fooled or mislead through many factors like socialization. So they will choose alternatives against their own interests. I reject this argument because it does not respect the personal choice of these women and perceive them as submissive creatures, who have no critical minds or well to question the illusions.
I agree with the argument of the Turkish scholar Deniz Kandyoti that women are forced that do a patriarchal bargain to give up their rights as individuals and women, to gain acceptance and agency. Those women adopt the same norms and discourse of the movement. They entrench the gender roles and images adopted by the movement. They know their limits and they never cross it. Kandyoti argument is opposite to Saba Mahmoud argument which claims that women create new form of agency and empowerment through engaging Islamist movement.
I believe that Islamist movements use women to gain support, to sustain societal statuesque and advocate for their ideas. I still remember how Muslim Brotherhood MB dealt with women in the movement or sisters, how they nominated two women in the parliamentary elections of 2000 and 2005 in Egypt, when all the political actors criticized them for excluding women from political arena. The two female candidtes of MB are Gihan el Halfawy in Alexandria in 2000, she is wife of prominent MB figure and Makarem el Deery in Cairo, Helipolis in 2005. she is a widow of prominent MB figure as well , they both failed and did not make to the parliament. It is obvious that both are related to prominent brothers and they are not real figures in the movement. In addition to that el Deery in one of her press statements affirmed that she took the permission of her eldest son before running for office and she commented saying that there are no powerful sisters in the movement as the icon Zeinab el Ghazaly. Also many critiques pointed that el Deery campaign manager was more powerful and charismatic than el Deery her self.

MB affirmed women inability to run for president office. And recently MB in its comments on the political momentum inside the movement after long period of stagnation, declared that women will not hold any senior position in the movement. MB pretext was protecting the sisters from any governmental backlash. MB is not the only example of opportunism of Islamist movements and their exploitation of women. what I hate most is that they claim that they can guide them to the only right path and they convince women that in order to be pious Muslim, they have to give up their rights as women and individuals.
Finally I will conclude by saying women are not herd who need to be shepherded, women will never follow an enemy.

photo found at:
http://www.carnegieendowment.org/

Lets remember Gaza 2008.

Although I did not witness the major Arab tragedies, like 1948 and 1967 wars, but I remember by heart when the American troops entered Kuwait in 1991, it was for me like electronic game. Airplanes are bombarding the targets and only flashes appear in the night darkness. I did not feel the pains of Iraqi people in this time. On the contrary, I remember the second Intifada in 2000, I remember the walls of Faculty of Economics and Political Sciences, Cairo University with all the horrible photos of the injured and dead Palestinian people. That was a major change of the media coverage of the Middle East conflict and a major change in my life, I was turmatised by all the pain and suffering the Palestinian are facing on daily basis and I did not believe that human beings are capable of committing such atrocities. I also recall the American invasion of Iraq in 2003 and the students demonstrations in Cairo, I remember my attitude towards it. I totally ignored it and did not participate in it. And I still have major problem in participating physically in such events.
All these black memories are invading my mind now, because today is the first commeration of Gaza war, a year passed on the war but the siege is still ongoing. The number of casualties is still increasing. Pain and misery is spreading in Palestine not only in Gaza.
The crimes were not committed by the Israeli army alone. The handicapped International community contributed, the failure of application of Rome Statue of the International Criminal Court contributed, although all the crimes under its mandate took place in Gaza 2008, crimes against humanity, war crimes and aggression. However the rationale of the statue is ensuring impunity of the states.
The silence of the Arab states contributed. the fights between the Palestinian fictions contributed. and the collaboration of the US with Israel contributed
Lets light a candle to fight the dark shadows of Gaza 2008, lets talk for the unseen victims, lets document the massacre to avoid another massacre. lets remember Gaza 2008.

1812

Today 18 of December is the International Day of Migrants and the New Hegri year. Today, I am thinking of the migrants and their status in the world and I recall the story of the greatest migrant, Prophet Mohammed ( PBUH). As many other migrants, he migrated from his homeland Mekka to Yuthreb( Medina), after suffering from the persecution.
These ideas touched me not only as Human Rights activist, but as a person belonging to Internally displaced population and a former migrant.
I am Nubian, descending from the south of Egypt and northern Sudan. My community suffered as many other African communities from the borders determined by the colonizers, Nubians were divided to Egyptians in the north and Sudanese in the south.
The sad story of Nubians does not stop here, however after the independence of Egypt and due to the developmental projects, Nubians were displaced from their historical land to Komopo valley. The tragedy is not only that the human population was not the priority, but the economic project is the main priority. the tragedy is in the aftermath of the displacement. The social, economic and political consequences were negative and they are persistent till now.
The Nubian case is a clear case that the Internally displaced persons IDP need protection under the auspices of international law. Although there is trial in the UN to fill in the gap of the absence of a binding treaty protecting the IDP, however the International community needs to exert more effort.
This is part of my story as the second generation of IDP population, the second part of my story was in Europe, in 2006 and 2007. I was studying in the University of Malta and University of Ghent. Before traveling I was afraid from all the rumors of racial discrimination against Arabs and Black people in Europe, however I was courageous enough to examine the situation myself and to build my point of view on my own experience.
In Malta the lovely Mediterranean island, I witnessed the dialogue in Europe about the illegal migration. I heard the racist calls to kill and deport all the illegal migrants and the calls to remember the Maltese historical role as the peaceful land welcoming the suffering migrants. I remember the talk of the Dean of Faculty of Law in Human Rights Day festival, he said Malta was always the small boat rescuing the migrants . also I remember the immigration office , the ugliest place in Malta, where people are classified according to their origins and skin color. I remember my anger when the immigration office delayed my visa for almost a month , although all my WHITE colleagues had it instantly from the first visit. I remember the support of MY Maltese friends especially Maria and Elaine, and their idea to write a petition to the police commissioner. I remember my anger speech to the police officer in the immigration officer and her smile to me saying " Good Morning", her nice gesture turned my mood, I felt that I might find kind souls in this ugly place.
Finally, I want to say that migrants, whether they are refugees or Internally Displaced persons or economic migrants are a very vulnerable group, they suffer from discrimination and exploitation. We need to highlight their suffering and try to alleviate their pain.
Please Listen to Radio 1812, a global initiative celebrating the International Migrants Day :
http://www.radio1812.net/
and the Arab version of Radio 1812, where I participated on : http://www.arabic1812.net/

to Dearest Nasrin Afzali

if you met a person what will you do in the first time ?

you will question him or her and yourself

i met Nasrin in Penang in Malaysia

she is clever, decent and kind

she was the campanion when i wanted to laugh or cry

Nasrin is Iranian women right activist and journalist

she is sentenced to be flogged and imprisoned

i felt the gloden heart and i kept her with all the memories in my heart

support Nasrin

through sending emails to the Iranian persident to stop this injust verdict